Restless

Stayed out late yesterday hanging out with family. Hadn’t seen some of them like over a year.  In this city everybody bends to their life.  You see them now and then you don’t.  Need to keep that connection though.  The absences leads to awkwardness and hollow conversation.  I try not to condemn people. Try not to be judgmental.  People got their lives to live so you hang with them when you can and let them be. Dreams change. Experience eats us and spits out cynicism. Everybody gets affected.  Some more than others but we all feel the lash of an unforgiving reality.  I still hate the regular humdrum existence. I wonder about my true purpose. What’s the point of a normal life?  Yesterday I was tempted to rant but I remembered why I came out in the first place.   

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Colder day signaling the onset of the dark rift time. Can be depressing but the seasons must follow the will of Yahweh. As Einstein said time is the antidote to the madness of everything happening at once. I plan to burn the cold time with art and a radical sense of purpose. Again there’s the cautious optimism that I might get the moneys that the shitstem back home owes me. I envisage tech toys in my future and payments towards to Linux certification. I lust for that android tablet. This lusting is a good lusting. An opensource lusting even. Yet android is not all that opensource. In a perfect world I would prefer a pure Linux tablet but it’s how it is. Meego might be the one actually. With Linux we can’t go wrong eh. #Kewlness