moved

Hello friends. I have moved to my own domain. This is the new site. http://seedsofamadnessflower.com/

thanks. Billy

August Summer

August feels like the best part of summer. Everybody’s out in the dog days. All the pipes on the streets in my hood spraying water. Kids love this freedom especially in the evenings. As usual I come out to write after baking for most of the day. I am inspired and giddy. Summer is my best time. Haven’t hit the beach yet. But I gotta. Been awhile since I drifted to the salty.  Might be going with fam soon enough. Summer’s always better with family.

Restless

Stayed out late yesterday hanging out with family. Hadn’t seen some of them like over a year.  In this city everybody bends to their life.  You see them now and then you don’t.  Need to keep that connection though.  The absences leads to awkwardness and hollow conversation.  I try not to condemn people. Try not to be judgmental.  People got their lives to live so you hang with them when you can and let them be. Dreams change. Experience eats us and spits out cynicism. Everybody gets affected.  Some more than others but we all feel the lash of an unforgiving reality.  I still hate the regular humdrum existence. I wonder about my true purpose. What’s the point of a normal life?  Yesterday I was tempted to rant but I remembered why I came out in the first place.   

learning like forever and hustling

Started with photoshop again. Lots of design gigs on the net and in real time and my windows partition is stuffed with a slew of creative applications.  So am logging into windows again to get my creative ninja kicking. Linux is seething red with anger. But it’s the paper hustle. Need that scrilla for things to fall into place, for the puzzles to fit.  So far I have remembered a lot about the software. Just need to flex my imagination to bring out unique creations. Watching video tutorials makes it so much easier. Pause and rewind when I need to parse something a little deeper. Youtube is indispensable for learning. These days I use video for all my learning needs from nodejs to data structures.  Video worth more than a million words coming to a learning center near you. Keep grabbing knowledge with your grubby mindset.

reflective in the fading light

I am mostly addicted to tech and art things. The urgent need to create is always there like an itch that usually bleeds when scratched.  Use to play football(soccer) and ping pong and basketball long time ago. Quite enjoyed those then I quit for nietzsche. Never looked back. Might have missed civility with my peers. Who knows? Normal always scared me. Sports scared me. Running and puffing for the love of the crowd never attracted me. I started reading poetry in public and they never understood what the hell I was spitting.  It wasn’t slam. More like beat. More like languid rolling off my tongue.  Loved the silence. How they waited for me to finish and the gasping at my enigma. I write harder now. Nothing long. Nothing wavy. Am strictly hard now.  Sparse and hard but still enigmatic. Mystery is never for sale. Soul is not for sale. Flesh takes care of that.

Monsters Among Us

Yesterday humanity showed its worst face. The specter of petty little men fighting petty little wars to carve out their petty little piece of the world.  Nationalism is the disease that is destroying the world. People even resort to ethnic cleansing to achieve their dream nightmare of confused autonomy.  They keep forgetting that we are all connected. The Malaysian airlines was connected to Ukraine in some way. It had to fly over Ukrainian airspace to get to it’s destination. Is that not a connection? We are not isolated in the world.  We are not from another planet. And even if we were we are still part of the wider universe.  But they were not thinking of that. All they wanted to do was cause a lot of chaos and death and they did. Now everyone involved in this conflict are all denying that they did the crime. The cowards are blaming each other. So who did it then? Aliens? Phantoms? Who? Meanwhile families of the lost are left to mourn in stunned disbelief of what happened to their love ones. I hope you feel like real big men by shooting down a commercial airliner full of people who were just trying to get to their next destination. 

I spend way too much time with machines. I walk the neighborhood streets with headphones permanently fastened to my head. Is that alienation? I come out for supplies and then pitch back in to the internet. I web work, web play, web sleep.  My machines are constantly humming. Scripts are running all the time. I suspect there are millions like me. The web gave me gumption.  Next level is to be making a lot more cheddar and pretty much morphing into a digital nomad. It will happen. Gotta train harder. Sleep and train. Eat and train.  This age is all about skills. And knowing more than one geek thing. I write my nietzschean poetry, train and geek out. FTW.