Seems the guns come out in the summer. NYC is feeling the sting of lead. Memorial day brought out the beast people with itchy trigger fingers and there were stabbings too. It only got worse on the next weekend. Something about the summer sends some people mad? The sun brings out a total different response in me. I celebrate the birth of light and shedding artificial skin. I can wear my tees again. Winter is always a burden for me so it’s wonderfully cathartic when I shove the coats in the corner. Plus the light lasts real long. I try not to dwell on the violence but you can never totally ignore it. It’s around you. It strikes in a flash and lives are changed forever. You pray that you don’t fall as you keep walking in your life.
Life and Film
Just finished watching the yards with Charlize Theron, Mark Wahlberg and Joaquin Phoenix. They look so young. It’s been 14 years since that film came out. Like a lifetime ago. It’s a good film though. I hardly watch films more than five years old now plus there’s no tech in it. I am a sucker for tech in films man. But am happy I caught this one. Netflix is pretty neat. You get to see movies you have no clue about. You get to see actors before they made it large. Film was kinda sad though especially when Charlize died. Life is always gettting broken. Things always get twisted. Happiness just teases us is all. It is the joker in the corner of the room. It knows it’s gonna have the last laugh. And there’s nothing you can do about it. Sometimes you make it back to joy but most times you sink into despair never to recover that spark that almost consumed you.
Out
Surrounded by machines. Almost every moment am in the matrix. Even when am asleep which is small these days the machines go on connected to the digital mothership. The data stream is infinite. Digital existence with or without me. I feel a kinship with the machines. I have entered that new space most likely never to turn back to the reality of practicality. Practical is the plague.
I think therefore I will be
Did the laundry bit today. Just chilled with my headphones and watched the flow of summer citizens. It gets boring in laundromats. You always need entertainment or at least distractions. Some Indian people were talking real rapid next to me. Should have turned on a translation app. They looked like grans and grand kid though. Is all good though NYC melting cauldron people always saying. I guess I was reflective about how my life is spilling different. My thoughts are bipolar. Proves am truly alive. Always a mixture of art and geek. Duality is not a curse .
Now
Complicated is a killer. Untethered is priceless. At least connect only to your tribe. People graze on Facebook searching for the ones they went to school with. Pretty futile. They are not your tribe anymore. School was obligatory. You were forced to be social. For the all the grown ones searching for that lost time it is an exercise in sadness. Interests have changed. We are different creatures in different phases of our lives. Why slide back down into the black hole of unformed impressionism? Even if I was on Facebook I would have stayed hidden from the playground and huddle with my new tribe as we connect in our brave new world.
Instagram awake
I flew awake at 2 thinking it was 2pm. Circadian rhythm gotta be bent out of shape. I felt rested though because I had slept earlier in the day. So naturally I booted the always on tech and got on with my lusting. The news mostly the same. Tech this tech that. What are we doing in this age? And I got back on Instagram. Saw one of my friends doing his proverbial ratcheting. I am really digging Snapseed. The filters and other options are killer. Might be my main reason to get back on Instagram. For now I will instagram parts of my chi. Maybe something sane might come out of it after all.
Prodigal whimper
Talk brings out the nasty behind the muck stuck in people. I wrote couple emails hoping to open the eyes of someone. But he responded with venom like a mewling who never got love. It’s incredible what people want especially family. They feel slighted when it is their lives that are golden. They own the palace but they covert your mud hut. They got mad love from all the sycophants but they whimper about neglect. You wonder about people and then you just say get fucking lost in your ignorance. No clue to the real. Stuck lusting for that proverbial nipple. Nipple is a one time spillage prodigal son.
Double Headphones
I missed a diamond’s worth of web and my creativity suffered. So am making up with loads of electronica and web food. I need two headphones in this quest. I am back in the valley of desolation so I best be prepared to catch the deluge in all its mad forms. I am a web catcher in the truest sense. Tablet next to monitor, cellphone on beast machine cpu next toToshiba portable waiting for desiderata. Other desktop mining crypto like it never stopped in the first place. And chromebook ssh’d in to all devices. Lets’ get the party started.
machine visceral
robots are coming to take their share. doesn’t matter about awareness. just power and humanity is already obsolete. transcendence movie depressed me. could have been much better but humanity had to be involved. could have been more machine visceral. the visceral of machina is what that’s missing in these sci-fi films. time to leave humanity in the dust bin. let music feed it’s human. music is still primitive.
need
People say I need you but they are actually saying I want something from you. They can’t need the real you. The real you is locked up tight like a Matryoshka doll. By the time you finish peeling me your eyes will be burned out. It’s all about barter. I need a nail and you need a hammer. We exchange however we see fit. We make the rules and literature wraps it up in lofty idealism. Film and music blurs it even more and religion well you know how that goes. When the dust bows out I get to keep my enigma.
seedsofamadnessflower 